


day*3. PASSED LIFE

by eloveated



Series: JAEHYUNGPARKIAN*WEEK [3]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: JaehyungparkianWeek2018, M/M, My hero webseries, Past Lives, day3, day6shipweeks2018, obsessed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 22:15:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14174514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eloveated/pseuds/eloveated
Summary: jae is dead, but not anymore. it may not make much sense when put this way, but it’s actually quite simple: he died but came back to life as himself from eight years ago. and he wants to avoid making the same mistake again...





	day*3. PASSED LIFE

obsessed!au

*

inspired by the taiwanese web-drama, "obsessed," which is part of a series called "history"

Jae = *  
Aka (the dude who falls for the dude and dies)

Brian = ***  
Aka (the dude who gets fallen for and who never stops falling for the other dude)

imma try to experiment and write from 1st person POV for once... wish me luck...

_*_

 

*

darkness. 

that's all i can see as i float through a thick mass of nothingness. i don't know where i am, i don't know when i am... but i do know who i am. and i know where i'm going. 

back to the past. 

i've been given a chance to relive my past, to change the decisions i made a whooping eight years ago. and this time, i won't make the same mistake. 

him.

*

i wake up to my alarm, the obnoxious beeping making my head throb for a few seconds. until i realize... i'm really back!! i'm alive! i'm sixteen again!!

i leap up from my bed, yelling out in excitement, and run to the shower. i can barely see anything as i stumble in, no glasses on my face to guide my eyes through the dizzying blurs around me. but i can't care less right now. the soap running down my back is soothing, unlike the tires of the car that knocked me down eight years after this current day. i hiss as a harsh stream of water hits a bruise, but let it slide. i've been through worse. and i won't let it happen again. my future will be better than before. much, much better. 

i soon stumble out of the shower and get dressed, straining my eyes to see the colors in my closet. by now, it's almost time to go to school. i find myself walking to the small mirror on my desk beside which lay those glasses brian always used to tell me make me look like a cartoon character. used to tell me i look surprisingly handsome in. bringing them up to my face, i scowl, then immediately fling them to the floor. "aish, they bother me too much... they just remind me of you and your shit-eating grin..." i snarl, dragging my hand through my hair in anger. i don't want to think about him anymore. that's why the glasses have to go.

for the first time, i ask my mom for some contact lenses. she happily agrees to lend me some she has never used before. and now, standing in front of the mirror and brushing my hair out of my eyes, i can finally smile. "you can't bother me anymore, kang young hyun. you're out of my life for good this time!" and when i grab my backpack and head out the door, all thoughts of that stupid brian kid are gone and have been replaced with high hopes for the school semester i will be reliving.

*

i meet up with my best friend, wonpil, and we walk to school together, just like we always did. no, do. because there will be no brian for me to walk with instead. we talk about 16-year-old things until wonpil excitedly squeals and turns to me as we near the school. he tugs at my sleeve and indicates with his eyes where he wants me to look. "hey. there he is, hyung!"

i look in the direction wonpil is indicating and a chill instantly spreads throughout my entire body. "please... don't wonpil. i don't like him anymore, so don't mention him, okay?"

wonpil frowns. "but, hyung... just yesterday you were telling me about how much you like him and how you were looking forward to see him at school again... it's the first day back, and you were really looking forward to see him..." wonpil's gaze turns sad. "did something happen to change that?"

"yes," i breathe out. "yes, something happened. but please don't ask. i really don't want to talk about it..."

"ah. okay, hyung." wonpil murmurs. he looks pensive a few moments more and then cheerily burbles out, "how about we burn your notebook tomorrow morning, then? it should help you get over what happened more quickly!"

it's moments like this when i remember why the hell wonpil even is my best friend. "you're a genius, wonpil-ah! i love you!!"

"waaaah! give me a hug then, hyung!!"

"gladly." i bring wonpil into a shoulder hug and we continue to walk side by side and happily chatter until we enter the school. this is looking to be a good day...

***

"hey, younghyun-ah! let's go practice before class begins."

"gimme a minute, sungjin-hyung. i wanna finish writing this last line, and then i'll go to the practice room."

sungjin laughs, patting my shoulder. "there's no use hiding it, younghhyun... i know you just want to wait for that hyung. it's obvious, the way you pretend that you don't care about him but always stare at him when he's not looking."

a blush creeps up my neck and to my ears. i feel it heat them up and turn them a reddish hue, so i cover my face with my notebook. "what? sungjin-hyung... i have no idea what you're talking about..."

"oh, shush. there he is." sungjin points out a pair walking towards the school building. the taller of the two has his arm stretched over the smaller boy's shoulder and they are happily speaking as they walk. seeing jae-hyung this way brings a smile to my face, and i hide my face until only my eyes are peaking out from behind my notebook. 

"omo, omo," sungjin teases, crouching down beside me and looking in the direction of the two boys. "you're happy to see him again, aren't you?"

i sigh out in contentment and finally lower my notebook when jae and wonpil enter the building. "...yeah."

***

i walk home with sungjin, my mood slightly sulky. i see a rock on the pavement and kick it. it hits a pole with a satisfying 'tang' but there's still a hole in my feelings. 

"what's up?" sungjin asks me.

i sigh in discontent and shove my hands in my pocket. "he used to look over at me and swing his head away with a blush when i looked his way. but today, he didn't look at me once! what happened over the summer?"

sungjin chuckles and i scowl at his light-hearted response to my suffering. "you're overthinking things. he blushes all the time."

"no, dowoonie does. not jae-hyung."

"well..." sungjin seems to have given up on convincing me that i'm acting paranoid, for which i am thankful. "how about i get wonpil-ssi and jaehyung-hyung to sign up for the music club?"

my eyes widen in joy and anticipation as i thank my hyung. "daebak! that would be so amazing!! but how will you do it?"

sungjin taps his chin and casts the sky a mischievous grin. "i have my ways..."

*

i'm sitting in my room, talking to wonpil over the phone, when he reminds me to put my notebook in my backpack so we can burn it tomorrow. "it's going to be a windy day, so you should put it in a bag. the loose pages might fly away."

i hum and put my notebook in a plastic bag, then stow it away in my backpack. "thank you for everything, wonpil-ah. i don't know what i'd do without you..."

"you'd probably get lonely eating chicken and sitting in your room all day with only your guitar and your pencil for company."

"dang, wonpil... when'd you get so savage?"

*

the next day, it really is windy (just like wonpil said it would be). i meet the brunette at our usual spot and he takes me to a place where people sometimes set up bonfires for picnics. there we carefully light a fire in one of the pits and prepare to set the pages of my notebook ablaze. as i lift the plastic bag in which my notebook rests out of my backpack, the wind picks up. i nearly drop the bag, and, in the process, release some of the loose pages into the wind. "NO!" i find myself screaming, pushing the bag into wonpil's hands and chasing after the pages... but they are long gone. the shadows they cast over the ground taunt me as they fly away, and i can feel tears prick at my eyes. i can't tell if they're tears of emotion or if my eyes are just unused to the strong gusts of air they are being hit with.

"let them go, jaehyung-hyung. let's burn what we have, okay?"

i finally look over at my friend, who's hugging the plastic bag to his chest, and nod. "mm."

***

"wow... it almost seems as if this person worships you or something," sungjin jokes, looking down at the page in his hands. 

nevertheless, my heart skips with tenderness. "if so... i hope it's jae-hyung."

"of course you do." sungjin passes me the page he had been reading and i reluctantly pass him the one i'm clutching. i stare at the new page before me. it's marked with a more recent date than the page i had previously been looking at, and it has a row of lyrics or a poem... i suppose they are lyrics because of the cute attempts at "do-re-mi" etc. under each word. but this page is different. it has a small sketch of me playing guitar in the corner, and it's so good... it makes me look like i'm glowing. my jaw drops and i look over at sungjin, who sends me a sneaky smile and tells me, "flip over the page, now. it gets better. i mean... i can't read english well, but i know enough to know it's good."

so i do. and there's a small journal entry... almost like in a diary.

**I've liked him for a while, you see. And it really is a bubbly feeling to like someone. Especially when it's Brian Kang. 

Yeah. I really can't believe I, Jae Park, could ever like someone like him. It's just not in my nature. I don't like cocky bastards with amazing voices and cold glares. But I do like Brian Kang.

And I hope one day he will like me too.**

*

wonpil and i approach the school, the smell of the campfire lingering on our clothing and in our hair. i rub at my eyes, hoping that the smoke did not irritate them because of my contacts. "don't itch your eyes, hyung! it might make them red or you might get an infection!!" wonpil scolds me, and i immediately stop. it's not like he's wrong... 

suddenly, dowoonie stops us in our tracks. "hyungs! please join the music club!!"

i squint my eyes. "no, thank you, dowoonie. i don't have time."

"i won't join if jaehyung-hyung doesn't... sorry, dowoonie."

dowoon pouts, and i'm sure half my heart melts at the sight. i can tell that wonpil himself is far gone and is ready to do anything the young drummer asks him to. "but... jaehyung-hyung... wonpil-hyung... we have this cool trip coming up and i need to get two hyungs to come with me! please join the club so i can go on the trip!!"

i'm still hesitant to agree, though. "why don't you get sungjin-hyung and... brian... to go with you?"

dowoon hides his hands behind his back and swivels from side to side. "i asked them, but they already agreed to accompany another dongsaeng on the trip. and now i'm sad because i don't know any other hyungs!!"

wonpil coos and i just about am ready to slap him. what stops me is the fact that dowoon has that kind of effect on me, too, and i can't help but burst out with a, "fine. we'll join the club," before i can come back to my senses.

"AAAH!! thank you so much, jaehyung-hyung!" dowoon yells and gives me a big hug. wonpil squeezes under my arm so he can join the hug and then i somehow escape it (finally) a minute or so later. "i'll see you two at the club after school! it's in the music room." then the boy waves a goodbye to us and merrily runs off toward the school building. wonpil and i both sigh, wonpil in a content way and me in a nervous way.

as soon as my foot hits the first step leading up to the front door of the building, i feel a hand on my shoulders... and it isn't wonpil's. i look over beside me, and there is that face i don't ever want to see again. fuck.

"hey, jae-hyung. can i have a moment with you?" his smile is bright, radiating excitement and warmth. but i won't fall for it anymore... not after what happened last time i did.

"fuck off, brian," i hiss, knowing that he knows english. then i grab wonpil by his arm and drag him off toward the doors, leaving a stumped brian behind on the stairs.

***

"he... he told me to fuck off."

sungjin looks at me in surprise, no longer laughing at how miserable i am. "wait... did you do something to him?"

"i don't think so..." i wrack my brain for anything i could have done to piss him off. "maybe i looked at him weird or someone told him something?"

"i don't know, brian... maybe he was just in a bad mood. give him some time." sungjin sends me a soft smile and pats my shoulder to comfort me. it kind of works, and i smile at him too. "just talk to him on the music club trip. help him put up a tent or something and then he might tell you what's on his mind."

"thanks, sungjin." i lean my head on his shoulder and let him protectively wrap his arm around me. then i remember that the trip is taking place only next week and internally groan.

*

a week and a half following the incident, i'm packing my bag with wonpil before school so we can head on the trip right after school ends for the weekend, when my friend asks, "are you nervous?"

i look up at him and release a sigh. my hands keep folding the shirt i'm packing and i look down at them to contain my emotions. "...no."

wonpil stays quiet and i let him be as well. we are soon done packing my duffel bag and head off to school, our bags swinging from our shoulders along with our backpacks. i lead wonpil to his classroom and then head to mine, where i try not to fall asleep.

when the school day is finally over, we meet dowoon in the music room just like we did during the first meeting. that day i ignored brian, and i do the same today. i can see his gaze on me from the corner of my eye, but i pay it no mind. looking at people isn't a crime, and i don't want to address him more than i have to.

wonpil, dowoon, and i soon grab our bags and head over to the bus with the rest of the music club members. when our group is called, we enter the bus and squeeze into a three-seater after piling our bags onto the two-seater across from us. wonpil has to take the window seat (because he gets sick if he isn't in that seat for some reason?? like, what the heck, wonpil, i wanted the window seat...) and dowoon insists to sit between us so he can show us something on his phone while we're driving. so i'm of course stuck on the edge, and my long legs can barely fit without jutting out into the walkway. once i am situated (but not without grumbles and pouts), i feel someone brush my arm and look up to see brian. i hiss and lean into dowoon, turning away from the boy whose eyes look sad for some reason. like, come on, you don't even know me yet... you didn't like me the last time i confessed to you on the day i was given a second chance on, you barely even knew me... why are you trying now??? so i just ignore him and hold onto dowoon's arm and let him poke the space between my eyebrows where my glasses used to be. i see brian frown and walk to the seat behind me, where his group buddies sungjin and soonyoung are sitting. i don't know why i even bothered to learn who was in his group... it just happened. 

"hey, jaehyung-hyung," i hear dowoon whisper, and i direct my attention to him with a hum. "where are your glasses?"

i smile with pride and answer, "i don't want to wear them anymore. they make me... sentimental." i allow my leg to go back into the walkway since the bus is starting to move and i want to be comfortable for the trip.

"you looked surprisingly handsome with them, though," i hear brian whisper behind me, and i feel his hand pat my thigh. he must have sat on the end of the seat, just like me. "you should really wear them again."

"yah, you creep!" i yell and slap his hand hard, startling everyone on the bus. especially brian. but at least he shuts up and keeps his hands to himself for the whole trip so i can watch the funny video dowoon wants to show me and wonpil.

***

that was... odd. why is jae being so mean to me?? what did i do?! i really want to talk to sungjin about it, but he's sitting near the window and i don't want anyone else to hear me when i talk to him. so i bite my tongue and keep my eyes trained on the seat in front of me, where my hand is resting on the place where jae's back must be right now. i sigh out in confusion and then i feel a hand on my shoulder. i look over to see soonyoung giving me a supportive look. "yah, hyung," he murmurs, a small smile on his face. "i think he likes you."

and that phrase alone brings a gentle smile onto my face and encompasses my body in warmth.

*

we're finally here! i impatiently bounce my leg whilst waiting for the groups sitting in front of us to leave the bus. as soon as my group is called, i grab my bag and rush out, dowoon on my heels yelling, "hey, hyung! wait for us!!"

we leap off the bus one by one. i hear dowoon grunt when wonpil jumps on his back and he piggie backs the smaller boy as he chases after me. when we arrive at the central ground where we will be setting up our tent, i set my bag down and sit next to it. i hear wonpil jump down from dowoon's back and then he's kneeling down next to me, a huge smile on his face. "hey. jaehyung-hyung. dowoonie and i will go get the tent, okay?"

"sure." i smile over at him and the two boys leave their bags with me while they go to get the tent we'll be setting up and sleeping in.

as soon as i am left alone, i notice someone sit down beside me. i look over to see brian there, a pensive and nervous look on his face. he opens his mouth to say something, then stops himself. i eye him as he shifts closer to me and lean away from him a bit. "hyung," he starts softly, looking down at his hands. it nearly melts my heart the way he says it, it's so raw... but i stay firm. i hear him start speaking in that soft voice again, and i nearly go dizzy because of my conflicted feelings. "did i do something to upset you?"

"maybe," i answer simply, sliding away from him. i hope he'll understand my message and go away, but he stays. 

"hyung... where are the rest of the pages?" he takes a neatly-folded paper out of his pocket, and i immediately recognize it as one of the pages in my notebook.

a sear of burning rage flows through me and i hiss out, "i burned them."

"but why? i want to read them. each and every one!"

"well, it's too late. i'm over you, brian. i was over you since the start."

"but... but i like you, hyung! i was head over heels for you since the start!!" i nearly let myself fall under his spell, but then i remember what happened last time. You're 24 years old, not 16, i remind myself. You're stronger than him, and wiser. And you're even older than him than you were before. So don't let this kid fucking get to you!!

so i ignore the boy and grab the three bags, somehow managing to waddle away. a scowl paints my features. it's too early for this. it's too fucking early...

***

after all of the groups have set up their tents, i go for a small walk. the weather is so dang nice, and it would be a waste if i don't make the most of it. maybe it'll get my mind off what happened between me and jae a few hours ago...

as i'm walking down towards the stream that's slightly off from the main camp, i see a speck of maroon in the distance. i walk over to the tree under which someone is resting. once i am close enough to decipher the person's features, i recognize him. jae.

and, damn, is this boy beautiful or what?

he's leaning on the tree, his cap on sideways, and his blonde hair is glistening in the gentle light brushing it from above. his maroon shirt is starting to slide onto one shoulder, exposing some of his chest and collar bone, and it makes me smile. he must be asleep, because his mouth is open a bit and his eyes are shut. he looks so peaceful, and my heart jolts in my chest the longer i look at him as i walk towards the tree. 

i squat in front of jae, taking in the sight of how gorgeous he looks under the shade of the tree. i hold a hand over the sleeping boy's face, shielding it from the harsh sunlight that suddenly streams through the branches when the sun comes out from behind the light clouds that streak the sky that kept its rays gentle before they moved. jae pouts in his sleep, grumbling something about chicken. this brings a soft grin to my face, and i finally sit down, still looking at him. 

after a while, my arm starts to slightly hurt, but i ignore the prickling pain. it's worth it if i can be here with jae. he suddenly stirs in his sleep and i freeze, fearing he may wake up. and that's just what happens. his eyes still closed, jae reaches out to stretch his arms, and one of them catches mine. his eyes slowly open and he wipes at them as if he can't see clearly. maybe it's his contacts? maybe he was just deeply sleeping though... he soon recognizes me and nearly jumps up in horror, but i quickly grasp his shoulder and gently push him back down. "wait... hyung, please don't go!"

he reluctantly stays where he is, squinting at me through the sunlight now streaking across his face. i move to sit beside him so he won't have to look directly at the sun to see me and carefully hold his hand. "what are you doing?" he asks, his voice still heavy with sleep. he must be really sleepy; otherwise he probably would have left a long time ago.

"holding your hand." i interlace our fingers and bring our hands up to inspect them. the sight of it is as satisfying as the feeling of my warmth against his, and i smile over at jae. "is it okay if i do that?"

he seems hesitant, but a slow nod still commences after he stares at our hands for a bit too long. 

my smile grows and i dig around in my pocket with my unoccupied hand. "i have something for you, hyung." i pull out a page i ripped out of my notebook and pass it to him after i manage to unfold it with my free hand. "it's a song of yours i revised," i shyly whisper as he stares at the scribbled writing for what feels like an eternity.

when he finally turns to me, he has the innocent expression of a child, and his cheeks are looking rosy. "wh... why?"

"i think it's a great song." i blush too and swing our hands a bit to gain some confidence. "you put your time into liking me, so i wanted to do the same. because i like you, too."

"but..." he looks really conflicted now, with his eyes darting anywhere but me and his teeth biting his lip until he starts to stutter out, "i... i can't like you again! not after what happened last time..."

i pull him into a hug. i don't ever want to see him hurt, and the look of pain on his face right now is too unbearable for me. "please... please, jae. tell me what happened."

his body wracks in sobs, but i don't think he's crying yet. "i can't!" he gasps out, letting go of my hand to pull me closer to him, and i melt into his touch. "how can i say if it's so unrealistic and stupid?!"

i shush him, sliding my hand down his back to hopefully calm him down. "it's okay. if you don't want to tell me, you don't have to. i just don't want to see you upset, especially if i'm the one who somehow wronged you..."

his sobs soon die down but i keep him tightly in my hold, letting him just breathe it out. he gently pushes me back so he can look at me. his eyes and nose are rimmed with a reddish hue and i hurriedly reach in my pocket for a tissue. i reach over to carefully dab at the reddish places, wiping away the sadness and the light tears. "you didn't do anything wrong," he finally murmurs. "it was all me." and then he's pulling me in for another hug, and my arms are wrapping around his neck as i smile with all i have.

*

he sounded so desperate in that moment... i couldn't help but stay. my mind had still been foggy with sleep, and i'm really happy for that, now. because at this moment in time, brian's sleeping with his head on my lap, and my fingers are all tangled up in his soft blonde hair. "i missed you so much..." i mumble out, wanting to bury my nose in his chest and just hold him tight for forever. but i don't want to wake him up from such a peaceful slumber, so i hold back my urges and instead stroke his cheek. 

then brian is jolting in his sleep and his brows are creasing in agony. a nightmare?! i quickly shake him awake, moving his head off my lap so i can lay on top of him and hold him tight. "it's okay now. it's okay." his hands grip my back and i bring mine to caress the his shoulders, holding up my body with my elbows.

when brian finally starts to speak i remember how fucking attractive his voice is after he first wakes up. but his words jolt me and bring a smile to my face once he is done. "i... i dreamt that i got a fake girlfriend and told you we had to break up to keep it from my parents. and that you got hit by a car when you ran away from me... and that you died in the crash!! and i cursed myself for stooping so low as to hide behind a girl, when i should be protecting you and taking care of my problems myself!"

"oh, brian..." If only you had thought of that eight fucking years ago... 

i can't help but laugh, finally allowing myself to lie down on top of him with my full weight as i am no longer holding myself up to not crush him. he 'oof's and i only laugh harder, remembering just how stupid i was when i died. how i'd thought our relationship was just some stupid fling for brian. how i'd thought he was actually getting married to that girl. how i'd kissed him and begged him not to leave me and ran away, only to get hit by some stupid car and break his heart. well, that won't happen this time around.

and then we're rolling around on the ground, laughing and throwing clumps of grass at one another. just like before. just like always.

*_*

 

 

 

WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH ANTIS

JAE SAID NOTHING WRONG LIKE I WOULD SAY THE SAME THING IF I WENT ON DATES, PEOPLE DON'T USUALLY WORRY ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON'S HEALTH ON THE FIRST DATE (ESPECIALLY IF IT'S A ONE-TIME THING) AND WHO EVEN GOES TO A FUCKING 300 FUCKING DOLLAR RESTAURANT ON THE FIRST DATE AND JAE BARELY HAS ENOUGH MONEYS FOR FOODS HE EVEN DID A SESSION ON ASC ABOUT HOW HE NEEDS MORE LUNCHMONEY WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE MAKE A FIRST DATE AT A 300DOLLAR RESTAURANT IF HE DOESNT KNOW THE GIRL AND HE LOVES MCDONALDS ANYWAY SO WOULDNT IT BE DIFFICULT TO HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE IF YOU DONT HAVE THE SAME INTERESTS ANYWAY AND 

ISNT. IT. FUCKING. OKAY. TO. MAKE. A. JOKE. ON. CAMERA???it'snotlikehedisrespectswomenoranything,likewhatthefuuuuuuck

 

 

AND WHY PEOPLE GO AND ATTACK A FUCKING AMAZING TRANSLATOR FOR INT'L MYDAYS ON TWITTER LIKE WTF??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK THE ANTIS

FUCK ALLKPOP

#WeGotYouJae #WeGotYouJaelavie

 

 

i'm sorry ;M;


End file.
